


on the nature of reality

by dyingDreamer



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Lucid dreams, M/M, Soz, depends if thereis enough interest, i am really interested in this concept lol, i determine which fics i continue and don't by the number of bookmarks, if you want me to add anything let me know, maybe i'll finish this fic, trans!karkat, writen by a lucid dreamer, yeah - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-16
Updated: 2017-03-16
Packaged: 2018-10-05 23:34:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10320092
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dyingDreamer/pseuds/dyingDreamer
Summary: Dave Strider has entered college but has exited his social sphere. He spends as much time as possible asleep. Little known to others, he has created a reality that's much better than the one outside to him, all in the confines of his dream. He doesn't ever want to leave.Karkat Vantas only sort of knows Dave but decides to help bring him out of his shell. His talent? He can break into other people's dreams.[cue discussions on the nature of reality, an exposition into the potential of lucid dreams, and my two favorite homestuck characters growing close]





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, lucid dreaming again, if you need to know anything about it, hit up wikipedia.
> 
> Not sure if I'll continue this fic - I really really really like the concept. If you like it, please comment! Kudos and bookmarks also mean a lot to me - it helps me to decide if I'll keep updating.

“You don’t understand. This isn’t your choice to make.” Said Dave, angrily turning away. He pulled his phone away from his face and after only a moment's hesitation, swiped his finger on the screen to end the call.

 

He was lying in bed, uncomfortably aware of how hot his back felt pressed flush to the sort-of hard mattress. He had no class tomorrow - he could sleep as long as he wanted. He rolled onto his side, trying to limit contact between him and the uncomfortably warm bed. He had already removed all blankets - the heat was unusually oppressive for the fall. 

 

He tried to shut his eyes. All the lights were off in the small dorm room. Egbert was out late - Dave wasn’t sure where. It wasn’t like the kid was that popular to have parties on a Friday night to attend. Or maybe he did. The kid could have matured since high school. It wasn’t like Dave would know. He hadn’t paid much attention recently. That wasn’t a revelation of any sort. It was, in fact, the topic of his and Rose’s thirty minute conversation that had just occurred.

 

Sure, she was concerned, but as he had told her, he was far happier the way things were right now.

 

He reached to the counter where his sleeping pills were waiting and then flipped onto another side of the bed and concentrated on falling asleep.

\---

His eyes opened and it took him a little while to focus, before he realized, he didn’t need to focus. Everything was the same yet a bit off. This wasn’t really his bed that he had ‘waken up in.’ Dave did the usual thing he did when he woke up. He reached out with his hand and tried to count how many fingers he was holding. His brain did some acrobatic loop-de-loops and toggled between four, five, and six. 

 

Bingo.

 

Dave smiled. He was dreaming. He pulled to mind where he wanted to be and then turned around. He was there.

 

His dorm room. But instead of two small beds, it had one rather large and comfy one. And if Dave focused a little harder it wasn’t really a dorm at all. It was just one bedroom in an expansive country house. He pushed through the door that his mind had placed.

 

“Hi Rose.” He said, deadpan even in his dreams.

 

His Rose - not the one in his waking life, but his Rose was standing looking vaguely bemused with only a little bit of annoyance. He considered it for a moment and decided that this Rose wasn’t even going to be annoyed. She was just happy to see Dave. Dave was pretty much always awake here and had time to spend with his friends. 

 

She smirked and pushed some of the books she was carrying in her hands to him. “Dave, help a lady out. We’re going to the ….”

 

Dave paused. He considered. What would she say next? Where did he want to go? A cool guy like him? After a moment's consideration he decided. “The record shop.”

 

“Great Dave, I’ll meet you in the car in ten minutes.”

 

Dave decided that as much as he liked spending time with Rose, it would be in his best interest to skip time ahead a little bit. 

 

He was at the record store with Rose, Jade, and John. He shuffled through the give and take pile for a moment, not really trying to force his brain to concentrate on the music which his brain couldn’t fabricate, just listen to the pure purity of unfiltered mental noise. Who cared if he couldn’t make it out? It’s calming effect on him was stronger than any real music could be. 

 

At the front desk there was a little dude counting cash - almost angrily. Dave hadn’t willed him in so it was a bit weird, but Dave also understood his brain could populate his dreams with just about anything. 

 

“I want these.” He said, fanning out some records. He wondered if he wanted to pay - with his unlimited supply of dream cash, or just walk out with a receipt for $0.00. Either one of those options was fun in its own way and absolutely impossible in his waking life.

 

Surprisingly, the dream figure jumped in. “That’s going to be… huh. More money than you could possibly have. What are you playing at?”

 

Dave was vaguely startled. “What?” He tried to will the annoying cashier into something more amenable.

 

“You have no money in your pockets. I can tell.” The guy said with a growing sense of self assurance and a cocky eyebrow raise.

 

Dave maintained eye contact with the boy while he reached into his pocket, carefully. Nothing. This hadn’t ever happened before.

 

“See?” Said the cashier.

 

“How do you know,” said Dave. He just wanted his records and the pretty, pleasing music. He looked away for a moment, imagined that the cashier wasn’t there anymore, and looked back. Still there. Very unusual.

 

The cashier stumbled for an answer while drawing his eyebrows closer together. “I’m, uh, your subconscious.”

 

“Yeah,” said Dave, with some mistrust. The record store backdrop was starting to fade away behind them. He began to edge his way around the counter. “Yeah, right.” He reached the side of the cashier who had backed up and was now relatively cornered and looked apprehensively unamused. 

 

“Back off and pay up or leave the records.” And in a flash, the kid  _ stepped _ around him. There hadn’t been any room before? There was no room for even a small kid. Dave had probably let his guard slip. His lucidity was waning, that was the only obvious explanation for why it had happened. But Dave knew what was going on? It was a dream.

 

“Hey, stop.” Said Dave looking at the cashier who had now also snagged the records and was beelining back to the rack that he had found them from. Dave looked around the store. “Where are my friends?”   
  


The cashier shrugged. “Guess you didn’t pay enough attention to them and they wandered off. Wake up.” He grabbed a record and swung it at Dave.

\---

Dave woke up. He reached his hand out. Five fingers. No blurriness. He winced as he groped for the light, fighting the urge to grab his head where dream boy had hit him. 

 

“Dave?” Said John, a little bit too happy, a little bit too hopeful. “You’re awake?”

 

“No Egderp.” Dave said still wincing. He didn’t need to turn on the light, Egbert had already done it. “Why are you up.”

 

“I…” John’s cheerful demeanor sagged. “Vriska just broke up with me at the party.”

 

“Who?” Said Dave. “What?”

 

“Yeah.” Said John. “My girlfriend… remember?”

 

Dave didn’t remember. But he decided that wasn’t the biggest issue here. “Do you want to talk about it?”

  
They talked about it. He could worry about the cashier later.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rose and Karkat meet up

Dave and John had done some quality friend bonding that hadn’t happened in a while. But once John stopped sniffling and the topic of his sleep habits came up, he decided that was enough and tried to go back to sleep.

\---

Rose was concerned. She stayed awake that night and researched online forums. She scanned all of Dave’s social media and tried to find some answers.

It, it being Dave ceasing all interest in anything besides his next fix of sleeping pills, had been going on for quite a few weeks now.

She pulled out her phone, still wincing as she remembered being hung up on earlier.

“You don’t understand. This isn’t your choice to make.”

Addiction? This was certainly sibling intervention time. “Dave, no, Dave you don’t understand. Dave? Dave?” She pulled the phone away from her face. “Call ended.”

Rose called up the only one she thought she could talk about this with seeing as all her other friend avenues were either asleep (ha) or about to get broken up with (sorry Egbert, we all saw it coming). 

Karkat Vantas, the loud freshman from her Tuesday/Thursday creative writing seminar, was aside from a relentless insomniac, a purveyor of all sorts of dramatic books, and probably had an answer that even the occult couldn’t give her. Karkat had agreed to be over in about three hours. Three hours? It was already pretty late. But Rose would give him that.

Now was time.

Knock knock.

She gathered up her computer and snuck past Jade who was sleeping with a happy expression on her face. She pulled herself through the door and looked down at the angry kid. How he was shorter than her was a mystery. Well, it really wasn’t but it should have been. 

“What do you want.” He said with a resigned tone.

“Oh come on Karkat,” Rose said, nearly chiding him. “I briefed you remember? This is about Dave. How long has it been since you’ve last slept?”

Karkat looked down at his watch. “Fifteen minutes.”

“Fifteen?”

“Yeah, I took a nap before coming here. I got two sleep cycles.”

“Alright.” Said Rose, without the slightest idea of what he had just said.

“Get to the point,” demanded Karkat. They had reached the student lounge at the end of the floor. Rose used her key card and got them in.

Rose set her stuff down on an empty table (who was she kidding, they were all empty) and opened her table. “Dave, as I told you over the phone, has recently had what I assume is trouble sleeping. He has a rather large stash of sleeping pills. He spends all his time asleep. When he’s awake, he hardly pays attention to us around him. He’s lost interest in everything but the bare necessities.” Rose dropped her voice. “Karkat I think he’s addicted.”

Karkat shrugged, not as taken aback as Rose expected. Rose gave him a quizzical look. Karkat responded. “Ok, first off, don’t expect me to be shocked. My best friend is a druggie of the highest order. And second, are you sure you’re not misconstruing this? I hate to say this, but Rose I think you’re wrong.” Karkat dragged Rose’s computer away from her. Rose opened her mouth then shut it.

He clicked around for a little bit. “He doesn’t show the signs of addiction.” Karkat hit a goldmine. “You have his browsing history? Sweet.”

Rose shrugged. “Perks of using google and having a brother who’s used the same password on everything since we first met.”

Karkat looked at her, mildly interested. “Since you met?”

“Our parents died soon after he was born. My sister and I were sent off to one foster home, he and his brother were to another. They stayed the summer at our place, but I haven’t gotten access to him 24/7 until college.”

Karkat kept clicking. “How was he then.”

“He was a pretty voluble kid. Liked to talk a lot, but had a bad flinch reflex and as I said, never talked about home. We had this big place we would stay in. John and Jade lived nearby - that’s how we met.” Rose paused. “I’m not sure why I’m telling you this.”

Karkat smiled at the computer screen. “You love it.” Karkat started to type. “Ahah.” He muttered under his breath. “Rose, could you describe the town you stayed in during the summer?”

Rose looked at him. “Why?”

Karkat tried to put on an angry expression. “Because. I’m bored, you’re bored, and until I can look through, well, months of his browsing history, I hoped you could tell a pleasant story to pass the time.”

Rose sighed. “Alright.”

That was a lie, of course. Karkat knew everything he had to. He probably had since he had first seen Dave across the dining hall, slouching around and not making eye contact with anyone. His search history - lucid dreaming, alternative realities, and dual lives were only solidifying in his mind that Dave was a true mess. But he wanted to know for sure.

“Kanaya, my girlfriend,” she said, almost dropping it as an aside, but Karkat could see from the way that her mouth curled into a smile that she mattered a lot to her. “Had a car. We would use that to drive into town, Dave and I. On the way we would pick up John and Jade. Dirk and Roxy liked to stay back and tinker in the garage so it was just us. I always let Dave pick where we would go. His choices were rather routine and basically cycled, but his favorite place was this little record store on the boardwalk.”

Dave was a mess, Karkat decided. A true and real and complete and utter and total wreck. 

“He never had enough money to purchase more than one record a summer, but he liked to take the records and play them and just listen.” She smiled. “Sometimes, he would get so wrapped up that the rest of us would sneak out, get some ice cream, and return and he would still be there, attached to the record player.”

Karkat had heard enough. “Rose I have never talked to your brother in life - real life. To the best of my knowledge. But what I say next I still think you should take seriously.”

“What?” Said Rose. 

“There’s this thing.” He said. “You can… when you sleep, you can know you’re sleeping? That’s the best way I can explain it. And once you realize that, you can do anything.”

 

“Ok,” Said Rose with mistrust.

 

“And that’s pretty liberating. You could be rich, famous, anything. You could be happy. And it’s the kind of happy you don’t wake up with which is why you want to sleep again. Well, at least, for some people, maybe like your brother. That never happened to me.”

 

Rose pushed. “You?”

“I can do it.”

“Oh.”

“Anyway, so.” He flipped the computer around where he had typed the word “lucid” into the history search bar. Results walked down the page. “See?”

“So he’s not addicted.” Rose said, relief flooding her voice.

 

“Yeah, well, that’s not the worst of your problems.” Said Karkat. He typed “dual realtiy” into the searchbar. “I think,” he said, gesturing to the reddit posts and searches, “Dave thinks that maybe his dream world is the real world. Or at least better. And it’s better than anything he can get out here. So he want’s to be there all the time.”

“Ok.” said Rose. “So what do we do?”


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Dave dreams and kicks Karkat out

Dave nosed through his Saturday, blowing his time on inane Buzzfeed videos and animal gifs. John came back and pushed him into an upright position to eat some food while chatting meaninglessly about some of the things he had done that day. Dave nodded and added his own witty quips every once and a while but a good portion of their meal was silent. It was fake Mexican takeout. Dave was supposed to love it.

As soon as Dave watched John trundle out with a towel, change of clothes, and a shower caddy he reached down into the drawer his friends weren’t supposed to know about, extracted a small container of sleeping pills he had obtained legally and over the counter at CVS (thanks but no thanks Rose) and swallowed them dry. 

He was out.

\---

He woke up and didn’t bother checking his lucidity. He had been in the same room so often, but only in his dreams, that it was a reality check in and of itself. It was the little green room in the little white house on the seaside where he tried to gather enough happy memories to get him through the hell of a school year. 

Dave stretched and looked out the window, with the white lace curtains and the light sea breeze bringing the smell of the ocean and wild flowers in. He knew this wasn’t real, this wasn’t real. But moments like this made him wonder. What really made something real? Who was to know that ‘real life’ wasn’t just some extended dream? Or that life was like… in the Matrix! Dave smiled. These little conversations in his head were good for preempting any of Rose’s verbal attacks on him. 

Speaking of Rose. 

Dave decided that today, Rose would not be home and would be touring the coastline with Kanaya in Kanaya’s little green car. Jade and John would be doing family stuff. Dirk and Roxy would be puttering around in town with Jade and John’s cousins, Jake and Jane. Other than Rose’s foster mom, who was pretty much out of sight, he would have the house to himself. 

Or not.

He decided he would avoid the record store today. He wasn’t a big fan of running into his ‘subconscious’ (although Dave was pretty sure his subconscious wasn’t a short kid with a loud mouth) but would mosey around town and maybe do something absolutely uncool like feed the birds. 

Before leaving the house, he made sure to believe that there was money in his pockets. Which, of course, was stupid. He must not have been completely lucid when he talked to the cashier. That was the only plausible explanation.

Town wasn’t really far enough to warrant using Kanaya’s car, in ‘real life,’ but was far enough that in a dream, it was worth time-skipping ahead. 

He was in front of the small country store that was painted blue and had an inviting but creaky front porch. He walked in and didn’t bother looking that carefully around. He had one goal. The bread aisle.

So when he got there, grabbed his bread, and turned around he was rather annoyed to see the short kid. “God damnit,” he muttered. “You again. What are you going to do to me this time? Throw me into the ocean, hit me with some groceries?”

“No?” Said the kid. “I just did that because… well.” He looked sheepish. “I had to go, I couldn’t watch over you any more.”

“What are you,” said Dave, his eyes narrowed. “My personal dream stalker? What did I do to deserve this,” he said, mocking speaking to the sky, “was it because I pulled my sister’s hair once? Because I didn’t do my homework?”

The boy stood there.

Dave sighed. “What should I call you? You know, when I debrief this with my real sister in a few hours when I wake up. My weird brain-dream stalker.”

He shuffled his feet on the ground. “Call me Karkat.”

Dave looked carefully at him. “Ok, so first, weird name dude. Second, I can assure you that my brain is incapable of making up a face. Especially one as detailed as yours.” Did he just blush? “Where have I seen you before, brain-dude. Or is this real. Am I dreaming?”

Dave knew the danger he was stepping into, asking if he was dreaming. That was the fastest way to derail yourself in a dream. Especially if the projection put up a fight.

Karkat hesitated. “Well, what makes something real to you?”

Dave was heading into dangerous territory. He sat down on the floor of the grocery store, with the bread. Looked like no ducks today. “I don’t know. Sometimes, I wonder.”

“Oh,” said Karkat. “Do you… do you like it here?”

“I don’t know. It’s a lot better than being,” Dave gestured grandly. “Out there.”

“What, like, out of the confines of your mind?”

“So I’m dreaming?” said Dave, almost disappointed. Disappointed? He knew he was in a dream. He wasn’t supposed to be disappointed that it was one. 

Karkat sighed. “Yeah, Dave, I’m pretty sure you are.”

“No, like,” Dave said, trying to pull his thoughts together. “No, what I’m saying is, who are you to say this isn’t real. This is, way more real to me than anything out there. I’m safe here.”

“Safe?” Karkat wondered. “Dave you’re trapped in a maze that changes every hour. Everything here is things you created. And you feel safe?”

Dave sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. “You know what, I’m done. I’m just trying to have a pleasant experience with my friends and you’re just hear as a splinter of my brain trying to make me cut it out.” He stood up, shoved past Karkat, and yanked his bread off the ground. “I’m done with you, and I’m done with this dream.”

He ran out the door and shut his eyes, trying to shift the scene as fast as possible. 

-

Karkat woke up, in his dorm, in his vaguely uncomfortable bed and laid unblinkingly, staring up at the bottom of his roommate's bed. There were no lights, except for what managed to filter through the window, and the vague sound of cars honking.

What had just happened?

He had been forcefully ejected from Dave’s dream - and sleep. How had he done that? Karkat had been doing dream stuff for years and years - as far back as he could remember, right to when he started to want to escape his stupid body. But Dave? Dave didn’t know what he was doing, if Rose was to be trusted. Dave had flung him out in a petulant way, like a child throwing a lollipop to the ground because it was the wrong flavor. But he had done it with the power of an adult, presumably switching dreams firmly. 

He felt unsettled. Clearly, sleep wasn’t going to happen for a while.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which an intervention is staged and the author has trouble writing in a way that isn't bleak  
> the author promises to work to improve her ability for future chapter

Dave slouched to the dining hall for a Sunday brunch with just Rose. His mind was still lingering on last night's dream and his brain apparently conjuring up some kid to distract him. 

Rose was talking about some amazing book she and Kanaya were reading in their book group.

Dave wasn’t really paying attention. He heaped his tray with some hash browns and some pancakes. Rose was going for more of the eggs benedict and fruit sort of deal. 

They sat down at a table. Rose began to talk again. “You know Dave, I’m pretty concerned about you. We all are. You know you can talk to…” she faded out and looked to Dave’s right. “Karkat!” she said.

“Hey.” Came a grouchy voice. Probably twenty feet behind him. Karkat? Dave wondered. That was the boy. Not like he would forget. The voice was the same. What was going on?

Dave turned around. And then he squinted, because he had to, because the Karkat he was looking at right now was even shorter than the one in his dream, had some more body fat, looked infinitely more angry, and was wearing the baggiest sweater one could get away with and not be wearing a sack.

“Dave, meet Karkat.” Rose said, smiling. A little bit too coy.

“Sup.” Dave said, trying to look impassive and probably failing miserably.

Karkat sighed. “Who’s this douche?”

-

Internally Karkat was screaming. Aside from the not this, not now in his mind (thanks Rose) there was also the pressing gender question. Dave wasn’t going to be a douche about this right? But also of course, Karkat was looking the guy whose brain he had essentially snuck into in the face, and that was obviously weird. Especially as he had been snooping even before he had gotten familial consent.

-

Dave shrugged. “I dunno. Some call me D-Strides, but that’s more of my brother’s thing so I don’t like to hijack that. Or maybe you weren’t referring to me, that’s always a possibility. There's a ton of douches here, because it’s like, college. Douche city. But assuming you meant me you are looking in the face of A-grade-Strider who is ready too.”

“Dave.” Rose said calmly, reaching out to calmly place a hand on his obviously calm arm. “Calm down.”

“I’m calm.” Dave said, then shut his mouth, because he clearly was not.

The Karkat kid sighed and sat down at the empty avaliable chair, cringing at the maple syrup puddle that the previous occupant had left behind. “I’ve already eaten,” he said by means of explanation for his lack of food.

Dave started to work into the pancakes. 

Rose smiled demurely. “Karkat, I’m rather sorry, but I think you’ve walked into the middle of an intervention.”

“A what?” said Dave.

“I’m game.” said Karkat.

“No,” said Dave.

“Absolutely yes,” said Karkat, a grin starting to reach across his face. 

Rose nodded at Karkat approvingly. “He can stay. I’ve invited the others as well.”

Dave started to look around, feeling a little bit trapped. It wasn’t like he could woosh into the future or switch the landscape. He slumped to convey he had surrendered. Rose had trapped him. Now all he could do was wait for the death blow. Was she going to send him to like an AA meeting? But for sleeping pills? He had told her so many times. He. Was. Not. Addicted. At least, not to the pills.

John and Jade started to approach the table from the left, and Dirk, Roxy, and Jake followed soon after from the right. Even Rose’s girlfriend arrived, Kanaya, taking time to affectionately ruffle Karkat’s hair. Huh.

“What?” said Dave, looking at the crowd of nearly twenty people around him. He set down his fork. “Rose, this is a joke, right?”

“No Dave,” said Rose, looking disappointed in his inability to comprehend what a screwup he was. “We’re all really concerned about you.”

“Nah,” said Dave. “Rose, cut out the psychiatric BS. You don’t know what’s in my head and they don’t either. So don’t pretend like you do or pretend that you can just Web-MD my ‘symptoms’ and come up with a real answer. Some people don’t have all the answers in life and you just so happen to be one of them. Don’t feel bad, I am to.” He glared at everyone, and left the table.

Dave had walked for a few minutes before he heard the short kids voice. “Dave, wait up!”

Dave flipped around. “What do you want.”

“I dunno, maybe ask why you just stormed out on your nearest and dearest who just wanted what's best for you?”

“I wouldn’t expect you to understand.”

“Oh cut it out with the woe is me. No one knows whats… whats wrong with you because you don’t talk about it!”

“How would you know?” Dave bit back. “I’ve only known you for what, twenty minutes?”

Karkat choked. He didn’t know how to respond. There wasn’t really a good response. He wished he had one. He stood in silence. 

Dave stared back. “Alright, so, can you leave me alone?”

Karkat walked up to him. “Maybe I don’t know you that well, but I do know Rose really cares.” He pulled a scrap piece of paper out from his back pocket and a pen from his other pocket. What did this kid have in his pockets? Karkat scribbled something somewhat illegibly. “Add me on Pesterchum. We can talk maybe.”


End file.
